For the incoming college freshman

This post has been on my heart for a while as I start looking towards my third year of college (time please slow down). Around this time, I start to get sentimental thinking back on how much I have grown since I was a senior in high school. I can't help but think of all the people currently in those shoes and this post is for you! I want you to know that everything I say in here is because I have gone through it first-hand. Some of it is inevitable, but some of it I hope you learn from my mistakes.

When you see yourself a year from right now, who do you see? Whatever you think of, I am begging you to dream bigger than just having sorority letters in your Instagram bio or picturing yourself at a darty in a fraternity yard. Do not get me wrong, I'm not going to act like I don't have "Bama Phi Mu" in my bio or that I don't go to darties on weekends, but I don't find my identity in those things. They may be added perks of college but they are not everything. Thank God that is not all there is to these 4 years.
With that being said, let me share with you a couple of tips that I wish someone would have told me.

If you are constantly looking for "better" versions of life you will always be disappointed with the life you have now.

There was never a time in my first few months of college where I went to bed and felt completely confident that I was right where I was supposed to be. I was so busy comparing my life to all the other "what if" scenarios that I missed out on opportunities right in front of me. In your first few weeks of college you will be faced with so many decisions to make on your own. You will find yourself asking "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" all the time. In those moments you have to trust in God's plan for you and know that even when it does not feel like it, you are right where you should be.

Do not spend those first months of college wondering what your life would have been like if you went to the other college you were deciding between, thinking about the other sorority you took to pref, dwelling on the high school relationship that went to a different school, etc. When you are actively looking for something "better" you will always find something you believe is "better". These scenarios all have flaws because they were made by man and man is imperfect. If you spend all of your time dwelling on the "what-ifs" you will miss SO much of the good happening right around you. My biggest regret of college is how much time I wasted wondering if I did everything right.

When you constantly have anxious thoughts about where you are, then you are ultimately not relying on the promise that God will not leave you. God has a plan for you in this stage of life even when He seems far. I am not going to lie though, you are not just going to wake up one day and feel as if "this is it". Part of trusting in God's plan is waking up every. single. day. and making a choice to believe that you are right where you should be. If you take anything from this, I hope it is that you are not going to search on your computer every night for other schools or scroll though your other friends sorority posts. You are going to wake up and find the good in your own life and trust that this is exactly where you should be. 

The devil preys on vulnerability and there is nothing more vulnerable than a first-semester college freshman.

I think the caption mostly speaks for itself on this one so I'll keep it short. I promise you the words "someone is praying on my downfall" will come out of your mouth in those first couple of weeks. You'll wake up late for class, that boy is going to start getting dry, your lulu skirt is going to get stuck in your book bag, and then you'll probably fail an exam all in the same day. You might even have days that make this scenario seem like a breath of fresh air.

The truth is, someone is HOPING you fall down. The devil is literally sitting there waiting for you to fall down. If he can get you when you are down, then it is A LOT harder to stand back up. During those days where nothing goes your way, please promise me you will lean into God more than ever. Just because it does not feel like it at times, does not mean He is not right beside you. College is a place where your Faith can flourish or it can wither away. Let this be the place where you grow a more intimate relationship with Jesus.

You will find your forever friends even if it takes a little time

I ask myself every day how I went 18 years without knowing the girls I know now. Making friends and finding your "bridesmaids" in college can be absolutely brutal. I thank God every day for my freshman year roommate because in those times where I thought I'd never meet my "group", I knew I always had her (942 forever Reagan). It took a few months before I found the girls that I now cannot live without. Don't go into Bid Day thinking you'll walk out with your group, while I hope that happens for you, it usually is not the case.

You'll meet your best friends when you're sitting down in the dining room by a random girl who took her senior trip to your hometown. You'll meet them when you take random pictures with girls you barely know on the first day of class to send to your mom. You'll meet some of them a whole year later when you're on your 5th day of work week and absolutely exhausted. You may meet your Big Sister in a huge music lecture. Some of them you'll meet 2 years into college abroad in France where you all came as strangers but left inseparable (C&IS in France forever).

​My favorite part of college is how natural friendships happen. You will not have to force what is meant for you but you also cannot sit in your dorm all day. Take a picture with the random girl, sit at the table of people even if you have no idea who they are, go out to dinner with the strangers in France. It is going to take time and effort, but it will happen. I promise. Also, I AM YOUR FRIEND!!! If you ever feel lost or lonely do not be afraid to DM me or text me. I am your biggest cheerleader. 

It was never that serious.

Whatever baggage you came into school with, I am going to need you to drop it immediately. This section is when I am going to be the friend who has your best interest at heart, even when you don't want to hear it. Life is hard and you may be holding onto a lot of things that happened in high school, your personal life, your family, a relationship, etc. Whatever weight you have was not meant for you to carry alone. Give it to God and tell yourself you have to let it go for you.

I used to take everything so serious in life and work myself up over the TINIEST things. I learned this year that whatever you are upset about right now will probably not matter by the next week. You can let it bother you by continuing to think about it or bring it up. You also have the choice to wake up and tell yourself that you are so much more than whatever is holding you back. I know it sounds easier said than done to just "let it go" but I am going to be so for real with you right now, it actually is a choice you have the powet to make. You get to decide how you are going to let things dictate your life. I am not saying that whatever you have is invalid or that it is not serious, but if you let it haunt you then you will spend the rest of your life running from it.

Whatever you are bringing into this year that is heavy, I want you to look at it right now and say "I want to find my identity in things that lift me up and not weigh me down". Coming from experience, being the "sad girl" of the friend group gets miserable really quick. There are so many days where I want to wake up and just let it all creep in but I promised myself that I won't let that happen so sometimes I just have to say "No" to those feelings. 

Spend time with your friends, family, and pets but don't let the sadness of leaving home keep you from the joys of college. It gets easier and easier every drive back, I promise. 

Even if you think you want nothing more than to leave home and get away from your small hometown, there will be a day where you are crying in your bed because you miss your dog or you just really need advice from your mom. Those moments suck but believe me when I say it gets easier every day. Going home during breaks freshman year was so hard for me. I always pulled out of the driveway to go back to school with tears down my face. Now, I can confidently tell you as I'm writing this I am itching to get back to school. It is completely normal to miss home and that does not make you "weak". Missing home also does not mean you do not love where you are now. You can love school and still miss home simultaneously.

Do not let missing home keep you from getting to enjoy everything college has to offer. The more you can get involved in, the easier it is to find your place at school. A big reason for why I missed home a lot freshman year is because I didn't really feel like I had my "thing" in college. I got involved in whatever I could and now I have opportunities and roles that I have to try to keep from being my whole personality because I love them so much. Your relationship with family will start to look different too, but don't let change be a bad thing. The relationship I had with my mom in high school is very different than the one we have now but I absolutely love this phase we are in more than how it used to be. At the end of the day, you'll miss home but FaceTime is always there and everyone is so proud of you. Find the things and the people that make school feel like home and one day you will be equally as excited to go to either place!

You do not have to go out Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday to have the "full college experience".

Keeping this one short and sweet. Go out and have your fun but trust me when I say there will be plenty of times to have fun. Game days, date parties, weekends, darties, girls night, and so much more will be worth staying in on some of those random weekday nights. If you're going out every night trust me, you will only wake up every day anxious and probably have some regret (not worth it). Drink water, go to class, do your homework, call your mom, and have fun! 


Updated 8/10/24 -
Enjoy your freshman year! It is going to fly by and before you know it, you'll be a senior wondering where all the time went. College truly is what you make it and I hope you make it something you will always look back on and smile.